Baby Girl I by Scott Hildreth (Heather’s Review) – 5 Stars

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WARNING: This review is a reflection of my feelings and self-revelations. Of how I see the characters and how I perceive their actions and thoughts. There will be profanity, I cannot help it….if you are offended…too bad.

This is not your run of the mill book full of steamy sex, spankings, and dominance. This is not Christian Grey. There is no red room of pain, there is no laters baby, no private jets. This is Erik Ead. This is real life.

In the follow up novel to his debut Broken People, Scott Hildreth takes us down an entirely different path and gives a vivid and truthful telling of a genuine, raw story of a BDSM relationship, sexual self-discovery, surviving, and finding love.Baby Girl is the first book in the series that introduces us to Erik and Kelli.

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Survival
sur•viv•al
1. the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.

“We, as people, are no more than a mentally advanced animal. Naturally we take whatever steps we have to that will support our survival. Feeling loved is a large part of what we, as humans, need to survive. We yearn to be loved. The perfect love. Women dream, of being swept off of our feet by the knight in shining armor – off to a castle in the distance – to live a life happily ever after. We wait, and we make decisions, and we live with the decisions we make. Sometimes those decisions prove to be good ones, and sometimes they prove to be poor ones. Inevitably, decisions that we make when we are young regarding relationships, prove to be bad decisions.” 

Erik 
He is not a billionaire CEO harboring dark secrets. He is REAL and RELATABLE. Strong, demanding, compassionate. He is surviving. He knows who he is and what he wants….he wants submission. He will own you.

“I intend to ruin you” 

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Erik owns who he is and everything he does. He is a dominant.
“Dominance, once experienced in a relationship, ruined any chance of my being satisfied in a non-dominant role.” 

Kelli 
She is not some virginal, naive little girl needing to be saved. Confident, educated, eager to please. She is surviving. She knows what she wants.
“I wanted someone to notice me, want me, or feel a desire to know me based on who I was on the inside, and not what I appeared to be on the surface.” 

She wants to submit.
“I hope that when he says what he says, whatever it may be, that he ends it with those two words. Baby girl.” 
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She wants nothing more than to please Erik, earn his praise and make him happy.
”I will do my best to make Erik happy, and whatever is meant to be will happen.” 

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Two paths, intertwining at a crossroads of sex and self-discovery …..two lost souls convinced that love isn’t real and they are not wholly capable of giving themselves or any love to another.
“There is no such thing as love. There is sex, affection, and satisfaction. With those things comes pleasure.” 

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We as readers get to witness a true to life telling of a D/s relationship, how it works, how is flourishes, and what it takes for all parties involved. Kelli is in a place in her life where she wants someone to take care of her…. of everything. Someone to see her for who and what she truly is. Someone who understands her….understands her wants and her needs. Someone she can belong to.

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Erik and Kelli’s relationship is blossoming into something more, something both are frightened of. Erik is coming to terms with the fact that he thinks he might want to be that person for Kelli who rips open her soul, makes her shine. She pleases him, constantly makes him happy. He could mold her, make her what he wants and needs. Kelli would be his willing victim. Can she survive the mind-fuck he intends to inflict?

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As their story progresses, Erik experiences breakthroughs in his feelings regarding love and relationships. Could he possibly be in a functional relationship with Kelli that is not solely based on fucking?

“Looking beyond life’s imperfections allows one to be able to find happiness. Life is not perfect, ever. For me, remembering that love is flawed, people are flawed, and therefore relationships are flawed, allows me to look at the flaws and imperfections as part of life itself. A perfect life includes all of the flaws associated with what and who you surround yourself with. My life and my means of living it are no exception. I was, as all people are, flawed. I accepted myself as being flawed no differently than I accepted others as being so.” 

Could he find happiness with her? Is he willing to draw down his armor and allow Kelli see him in all his glory?

“Someone cannot take, easily, what is protected from their grasp. I had erected walls to protect what I felt was in need of protection. My heart. Not because I was afraid of theft, afraid of it being take, afraid of love. Because I don’t like feeling pain. Pain from the loss of what it is that we love. If we don’t love, we don’t feel pain. If we don’t have expectations, we never have disappointment if the expectations aren’t met. My heart was protected to protect me. Like a gladiator’s armor protecting his heart from the lance of his opponent.” 

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Ok ok…..let’s get to a small taste of the good shit. The important shit for my lady bits. The sex fucking…..Oh.Good.Lord.

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Erik is a man who knows what he wants from a woman. He knows how to wring it out of her and make her give it to him.
“Do not say one fucking word, baby girl. Not one fucking word,” he whispered in my ear. “Put both your hands against the wall, baby girl, and don’t say a word, understand?”
His right hand grasped my neck, and I felt his mouth by my right ear.
“Not a word.”
 


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The sex in this book is not just sex…..its fucking. It’s not love making…..it’s scream inducing. It’s on your knees until they bleed pleasure….quite literally.

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Yup….had to change them

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For me, this story is relatable. It had significant impact on my personal feelings and admissions. This whole book…their thoughts and feelings….their emotional and sexual evolution. All of it has been packaged together in an influential story. I found myself relating to so many facets of Kelli’s mental processing and feelings.
“Ohmyfuckinggodmyheadisgoingtoexplode.” <——this is my head on a day to day basis.

Her submissive nature, her views on her sexual feelings and desires…it’s like my head was cracked open and spilled all over the pages.
“In the past, I have wondered if there is something wrong with me because of what excites me, sexually. I have never talked to anyone about it, but I know that there is something wrong with me mentally. Normal people are not aroused by the strange sex, and the strange sexual circumstances that I am in.” 

I can fully relate to her mental processing. Her view of herself and her feeling towards how outsiders view her.
“On the outside, I appeared to be a calm, intelligent, collected woman. On the inside, my entire life was a huge compressed pile of worry. Worrying what I was doing, if it was what was acceptable, and what people, primarily men, would think.” 

I felt like I was Kelli in so many ways that is quite unbelievable to me. Everything she said and felt….I have felt and thought…
“There was part of me that I always wondered about, and never really cared to talk about – the part of me that felt that I had to do whatever I had to do within my power to make a man happy. If the man was disappointed with me, I felt that I was my fault. It literally had the ability to crush me. If a man was satisfied with me, and expressed it, it was like Christmas morning. I would be so happy that he was happy that the feeling would often carry over for weeks.” 

I have a naturally submissive nature. I give in easily to avoid confrontation, but I am no doormat. Hell hath no fury like me pissed off. I am a pleaser. I take pleasure in the response of someone I have pleased whether it’s a simple act or not. I hatedisappointing anyone. I thrive off of encouragement and praise, whether in or outside of the privacy of a bedroom. This book left me feeling vulnerable….like I have just been broken wide open and left completely exposed.

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Mr. Hildreth, you have done it again. Just as with Broken People, you made me question and think and wonder…what if.

“We have little, if any, control over what we feel” 

“We are different people. We all need different things to be pleased. I believe, and I may be wrong, that we are, as your little book said, broken. We should find someone that is what we need, someone that is broken in the same fashion, and see if affection develops or exists. If and when it does, most people describe it as love.

 

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Baby Girl I by Scott Hildreth (Emily’s Review) – 5 Stars | ~ Snarky Bloggers ~
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  5. Trackback: BABY GIRL III – Love That Just Is (THE ERIK EAD EROTICA SERIES) by Scott Hildreth (Heather’s Review) 6 Stars….because I can. | ~Snarky Bloggers~
  6. Trackback: Bloggers Wanted: Baby Girl Series by Scott Hildreth Blog Tour 12/26/2013 – 01/03/2014 | ~Snarky Bloggers~
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